I'm tired of hearing girls talk about how their man doesn't put down the toilet seat. Pfft. Please ladies. You all are the pot. And most of mankind is apparently the kettle. BUT THERE ARE THOSE AMONGST US WITH PERFECT BATHROOM ETIQUETTE. See I was raised by a hardworking single mom most of my life and in our house you also used this thing called "the lid". Putting the seat down? Well duh. You don't want the next person to fall in, whether they be woman or man. But putting the lid down? DUH. It's there for a fucking reason. You're done dropping the kids off at the pool? You put the lid down. It helps cut down on the odor that wafts out of there. They put one on the damn toilet so that when you are done, it makes for a more sightly object then the scummy bowl you piss and shit into. If there wasn't a lid, why not just have a fucking hole in the ground you could just hover over, squat down and do your business into and this bowl could magically carry off your excrement and turn it into drinking water... (http://www.wired.com/2015/01/omniprocessor/)
What?
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Monday, April 7, 2014
"Sandwich of Love"
(Written for a Nexus Revels, theme: "Thinking of You")
The one for me, I knew it from the start,
how you came willingly into my cart.
I looked you over, expecting a few flaws,
but finding not one, my breath gave a pause.
With your beautiful bun done up just right,
a hint of sweet sesame, ever so slight,
you shook the foundations of my soul,
with that rich smell, my heart you stole.
You came and you went, a moment too brief,
I wish I could forget and find relief,
But here I am, only thinking of you,
Knowing nothing to sustain me like you do.
Oh precious lunch! Epic sandwich of mine!
How I wish I could simply turn back time!
I'd gladly revisit your perfect, fresh makin's,
tomato, lettuce, mayo... TWO KINDS OF BACONS!
You were the best to me, no one "got' me like you did.
You made me feel, once again, just like a little kid.
Pains me thinking of how swiftly through you I did chew,
and until next time, I'll only be thinking of you.
-- Coraemon
The one for me, I knew it from the start,
how you came willingly into my cart.
I looked you over, expecting a few flaws,
but finding not one, my breath gave a pause.
With your beautiful bun done up just right,
a hint of sweet sesame, ever so slight,
you shook the foundations of my soul,
with that rich smell, my heart you stole.
You came and you went, a moment too brief,
I wish I could forget and find relief,
But here I am, only thinking of you,
Knowing nothing to sustain me like you do.
Oh precious lunch! Epic sandwich of mine!
How I wish I could simply turn back time!
I'd gladly revisit your perfect, fresh makin's,
tomato, lettuce, mayo... TWO KINDS OF BACONS!
You were the best to me, no one "got' me like you did.
You made me feel, once again, just like a little kid.
Pains me thinking of how swiftly through you I did chew,
and until next time, I'll only be thinking of you.
-- Coraemon
"Where I'm At"
Where I'm at
------------
There's a thing inside of me. It's really cool.
It has so much love in it. It has so much to give. It wants to play, it wants to explore, it wants to feel. It wants to hug you. It loves to see you laugh and have a good time. It craves to see you succeed. It wants so deeply to help you whenever you need it. It knows when you don't. It yearns to build something that will last like a dynasty.
It wants to be able to do what it has to do. It wants you to know that it will always come back. It won't ever hurt you. It wants to feel appreciated but not out of narcissism or vanity. It believes in equality. Compassion and kindness. Peace. It makes a fool of itself sometimes, most certainly, but it only does it because others get a rise from it. It's dedicated. It's focused. It's passionate.
If you could see this thing, I feel you'd understand exactly what I'm about.
But I can't seem to find the right lens for you.
Why can't I get the prescription right?
-- Coraemon
------------
There's a thing inside of me. It's really cool.
It has so much love in it. It has so much to give. It wants to play, it wants to explore, it wants to feel. It wants to hug you. It loves to see you laugh and have a good time. It craves to see you succeed. It wants so deeply to help you whenever you need it. It knows when you don't. It yearns to build something that will last like a dynasty.
It wants to be able to do what it has to do. It wants you to know that it will always come back. It won't ever hurt you. It wants to feel appreciated but not out of narcissism or vanity. It believes in equality. Compassion and kindness. Peace. It makes a fool of itself sometimes, most certainly, but it only does it because others get a rise from it. It's dedicated. It's focused. It's passionate.
If you could see this thing, I feel you'd understand exactly what I'm about.
But I can't seem to find the right lens for you.
Why can't I get the prescription right?
-- Coraemon
"What if..."
What if...
----------
This is an age old prompt. Where you sit and hypothesize about a better existence.
"What if we could eliminate cancer?"
"What if we could eradicate hunger?"
"What if we could create world peace?"
Daydream away, but it won't help.
Let's play with smaller concepts.
"What if I was rich?"
"What if I had a really hot chick?"
"What if I could fly?"
Stop what if'ing.
What are you doing right now?
You working on any of those goals you just laid out for yourself?
No?
Well now you have a game plan.
-- Coraemon
----------
This is an age old prompt. Where you sit and hypothesize about a better existence.
"What if we could eliminate cancer?"
"What if we could eradicate hunger?"
"What if we could create world peace?"
Daydream away, but it won't help.
Let's play with smaller concepts.
"What if I was rich?"
"What if I had a really hot chick?"
"What if I could fly?"
Stop what if'ing.
What are you doing right now?
You working on any of those goals you just laid out for yourself?
No?
Well now you have a game plan.
-- Coraemon
"The Minaj"
(For the record, I can't even explain the name of this post, so don't ask.)
It's got too many reasons why it can't move on.
But it knows it absolutely should.
It knows it could accomplish amazing feats.
But it hesitates to pull the trigger.
Where's the spark? What will begin the necessary fire?
Will it see the glory it feels it deserves?
What if it fails? Can it face that tragedy?
Or even scarier still, what if it succeeds...?
-- Coraemon
It's got too many reasons why it can't move on.
But it knows it absolutely should.
It knows it could accomplish amazing feats.
But it hesitates to pull the trigger.
Where's the spark? What will begin the necessary fire?
Will it see the glory it feels it deserves?
What if it fails? Can it face that tragedy?
Or even scarier still, what if it succeeds...?
-- Coraemon
"I Got This Out of Me"
The most intense emotion I've ever felt
I'm stoned as balls right now, and typing this makes me laugh while I'm crying tears of joy because I'm alive right now.
I'm on Facebook, looking at the nice comments that my friends and family and people who have never even met me (thank you, glassblowing community), wishing me well and thanking luck or fate or God or whatever that I'm ok. That sentiment is really hitting me right now something fierce and it makes me love the people in my life so much. It makes me love life so much. I am so happy to still be here.
-- Coraemon
Maybe it'll work this time.
I've been falling in love with writing. And most of it is just nonsensical. Gibberish put down on paper. Well... digital text. Whatever, semantics.
But I want to share it. I want people to tell me what they think about it. I don't even care about approval. I think I'm just gonna put stuff out in the universe and kinda see what I get from it.
So... here it goes.
This is gonna be a lot of inner thoughts and feelings I have that I don't really know how better to express.
Other things will just be downright silly.
You have been warned.
-- Coraemon
But I want to share it. I want people to tell me what they think about it. I don't even care about approval. I think I'm just gonna put stuff out in the universe and kinda see what I get from it.
So... here it goes.
This is gonna be a lot of inner thoughts and feelings I have that I don't really know how better to express.
Other things will just be downright silly.
You have been warned.
-- Coraemon
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